approval and denial

i taught my second private art lesson. and i am kind of, ok really, excited. the girl i am teaching is home-schooled and only thirteen years old … and although she’s taken some art classes in her life, she hasn’t had any ‘proper’ formal training. which is not to say i’m some master of the arts, but having received my degree from a fairly reputable art/design school – i think i have a little bit of, uh, clout? but seriously, more than anything, i love teaching. i love imparting my knowledge. it fuels my creative fire(s) to see someone else learn and improve due to something i have taught them. so yeah, monday mornings are pretty awesome. i am, officially, i think, a teacher. how cool is that ?!

it’s late. i am kneeling on my floor because my chair is currently situated in front of my easel which has a 24″ x 36″ oil painting on it. my fingers are, in fact, covered in oil paint and now my keyboard is as well – and i’m okay with that.

i get home from work feeling so tuckered out – so i am not entirely sure where i find the energy to paint or draw.. much less oil paint. if you know what oil painting entails, you’ll understand. it’s a commitment. i can’t just oil paint for sixty minutes and call it a night. i have to devote a good two, if not three, hours to this activity. it involves paint that will not dry for days (nay, weeks/months) and most of the materials that i use are highly toxic. a fan must run and at least one window must be open (only partially, though, because my cat thinks it’s ‘really cool’ to sit on the outside edge of the window sill and after my ‘flying cat’ incident, i take no risks when it comes to her and open windows).

i have tomorrow, er today, off. this means i can stay up until stupid hours. and by stupid i mean obnoxiously late. and obnoxiously late is when i work best. i’ve come to accept this and i have also come to the realization that nearly every artist that i know prefers to work into the wee hours of the morning when most ‘normal’ people are sleeping. i once spoke to an energy therapist about this – a friend, that is – and she informed me that when the sun goes down and most people return from work and the life outside dies down considerably, it is quite common that creatively inclined people suddenly feel inspired to work. she told me that only once the world outside (and its many distractions) die down can an artist truly focus on their craft(s). it’s nice to know i’m not alone in this because for a very long time i felt that i was.

if i had it my way ::

i would rise at 2pm

i’d spend an hour or two doing what needed to be done (errands, bills, grocery, gym, etc.)

by 5pm, i’d be home and would begin working – painting, drawing, designing, what have you-ing

by 2am/3am, i’d rest/break – likely by taking a walk around the neighborhood to clear my head

i’d return home, continue to work, and by 8am or so, i would begin getting ready for sleep – only to start all over again the next day.

one day, you know, when (not if) i win the lottery, i will bring this schedule to life.

until then, i guess i’ll say good night. and in terms of ‘approval and denial’ ? i keep getting these ridiculous spam comments on here. every once in a while they are legit, but for the most part – they are just absurd. absurd, but also highly amusing. amusing enough that i have considered ‘approving’ all of them (just so we can all marvel at the poor use of the english language), but i deny them because i don’t want to encourage more spam. maybe i’ll save them and share them with you one day. that might make for a good post.

and because we’re on the topic of spam, did i ever tell you i sculpted a horse’s head out of this scary ‘meat’ substance and won second place in a spam carving contest ?

no ? well, i did.

jessi