Tag Archives: new york

i can’t sleep

i’m sick. in the eight months that i’ve lived in San Francisco, i’ve been legitimately sick three times.

when i lived in New York for four years, i was sick about twice a year.

when i lived in Seattle as a kid, i was sick all of the time. but in the three years between New York and San Francisco, i was sick only a few times with very minor sniffles that could hardly be considered a real cold. i never missed a day of work because of it.

San Francisco. there must be something in the water here. or the air. i know that cities aren’t the kindest environments for our immune systems with the bacteria and mold flying around. my immune system also happens to be on the weak side. my white blood cell count is well below average for a normal human being and has been this way since i was a child. i take vitamins daily. i drink plenty of water. i wash my hands on the regular. clearly, my habits were rewarded in Seattle. but here in San Francisco, no such luck. i think i’ve been coughing since November. off and on, of course. i received antibiotics in February for both bronchitis and sinusitis. i may have to go back to the doctor in the next couple of weeks if this newest plague doesn’t subside soon.

however, this time around, i have to make a confession. it was likely self-induced. we have been working our asses off moving an art store. this past weekend, i got four hours of sleep three nights in a row. this wasn’t even intentional. i almost wish i had a good story to tell you about how hard i’ve been partying. but alas, i do not. i’d slip into bed at 10:30, with my alarm set for 6:30am. and then i would toss and turn. i’d read. i’d talk to my cat. i’d think. and then think some more. i even cried a few times out of frustration at not being able to fall asleep. i cried for other reasons, too. before i knew it, 2:30am had rolled around and that is the last number i remember seeing on the clock.

there’s nothing worse than being unable to sleep. i was a professional insomniac for many years. those days are behind me now, but i still have fits of insomnia here and there when life becomes too chaotic. and rationally, i know that there is nothing you can do from your bed at 1:14am. it is pointless to worry about things, but yet i still do. and i know am not alone in this. it’s the wheels turning syndrome. i have wished, on many occasions, that there was a light switch in my head that i could use at bedtime to turn my brain off. i’ve yet to have this dream come true so i continue to muddle along, attempting to control the uncontrollable from my single mattress at one in the morning. when you wake up from little sleep, you feel hungover. whether or not a drop of alcohol has passed through your lips anytime before falling to sleep, you will feel hungover from lack of sleep. your brain hurts. your body aches. and every cell that is holding you together is screaming at you to stay in bed and sleep.

i want to recover by this weekend. nay, i need to. not only is my sister coming to visit, but come friday morning – someone who i have not seen in over fifteen years will be here to see me. i am so excited for his arrival it makes me squeal and squirm with the thought of it. i can’t even go into detail about it. but i am beyond excited. until then..Nyquil.



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Filed under Year of the Pig Studio // San Francisco, CA

fire escapes and high tops

i realize it’s late at night, but then i realized it’s also very early in the morning.. and then i realized it’s just about time for my best friend to be waking up in new york city. so, i dedicate this post and this drawing to her. it was the last time we sat on our work’s fire escape in seattle before she left for new york.

[graphite on paper]


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Filed under illustration (both acrylic and oilt)

in with the old, out with the new

re the header: not entirely. however, i have been spending the afternoon cleaning up my studio – which is, truth be told – quite an undertaking. i am a messy human being. i admit it and guess what? i even embrace it (sorry, mom). if you’ve ever had the “privilege” to ride in my car or visit my apartment, you could confirm this.

an old stencil of Katie and an old photograph of Christina. two of my dearest loves who both live in the big apple. i miss them like mad.

[spray paint on water color paper][nikon 35 mm + black and white film]


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Filed under design, illustration (both acrylic and oilt), photography

tipping my hat, a Nikon Tribute

i’ve officially dropped my Nikon off at the doctors office where it will be airlifted to a local camera hospital. the technician gave me a few funny looks as i described its symptoms problems. it’s never easy to explain that you dropped your camera 1.5 years ago, continued to use it (regardless of the dent and another broken part), took it around the US on tour with a band where the lever that winds the film started to show serious signs of fatigue, and then packed it onto a train to New York where, finally, it breathed its last breath of life after a lovely long walk in Prospect Park with me.

it’s a good thing they can’t call social services on me for being a negligent camera parent. it’s not that i didn’t care about the camera (i love this camera and it’s treated me SO well – seriously, if i have it on me it’s the first thing i make sure to check i still have on me; wallet, cell phone, keys are all second priorities after this camera), i was just so full of pride and believed we it could make it through its somewhat epic fall onto some concrete. i’ve owned this camera for seven years. it’s not just like a blender sitting in my kitchen. it feels like a family member at this point and i feel terribly guilty for having not taken it in sooner.

they told me 4-6 weeks was the usual waiting time for repairs. i scoffed at them when they told me it might be more cost effective to just go buy a new one – they don’t produce manual Nikon cameras anymore (sniffle) so you can find one in mint condition for under $200 on ebay (roughly the cost of the repairs), but i’m sentimental. and stubborn. and i want my camera back. life wouldn’t be the same without it. i just hope the repair time is closer to 4 weeks because i leave in about 4 weeks for Geneva.

have you ever been to Geneva? i have not. well, technically i haven’t. i may or may not have google-street-map-viewed Geneva today and taken a virtual “tour” of the city. i’m really not as pathetic as i sound. i’m just excited and wanted a sneak preview – seriously, i promise. i don’t actually have a lot of spare time on my hands, i just let my oh-my-word-i’m-going-to-Geneva enthusiasm get the best of me. if you’ve ever been there: tips, suggestions, etc. are welcome. i’ll need all the help i can get since i’m traveling alone – i’m just grateful they speak English over there. it might be more of an adventure if they didn’t, but i have things to do and places to go and eliminating the whole i-don’t-speak-your-language thing would be convenient. oh boy, i need to learn some other languages. pronto. too bad a Rosetta Stone costs approximately 10,000$ ‘jessi’ dollars. until then, i’ve got google translator – classy right?

[Nikon 35 mm + color film]



Filed under photography

amtrak No. 2

so, if you didn’t read my previous post, let me fill you in. i took a train across the country. Amtrak to be specific. the ride across the country was beautiful. more than beautiful. i’d call it breathtaking, but that just sounds so cheezy.. but honestly? it really was. i had two cameras on me and two sketchbooks. i did some writing and some drawing – but it was limited, trains are BUMPY (trust me, i’m still covered in bruises) and not conducive to quality line art. i took so many photographs. i was expecting most, if not all, of them to get developed and appear blurry and unrecognizable. oh i was wrong. i was so wrong. although my Nikon (sniffle) officially died after my walk in Prospect Park (in Brooklyn), it was a champ during the cross country trek. and my Holga? i loved my Holga before, but now that i know how to actually use it without wasting film (sigh), i think i might just marry it. that’s legal, right?

a Holga post will be next. these are a select few of my Nikon shots before my poor camera broke. don’t worry, i’m taking it to the doctor tomorrow. it needs to be in good form for my trip to Geneva in April. yeah, that’s right, i’m a jet setter. well – actually – i’m not a jet setter at all, but i’ll still call myself one. i’ll explain the whole Geneva thing later.

[nikon 35 mm + color film]



Filed under photography